


Thank you for your service

by Vita_sine_fantasy_mors_est



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Tag, Episode: s07e04 Mr Frost, Established Relationship, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-09 06:50:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14711180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vita_sine_fantasy_mors_est/pseuds/Vita_sine_fantasy_mors_est
Summary: CJ comes to talk to Kate Harper after the events at the end of "Mr. Frost".





	Thank you for your service

**Author's Note:**

> "But who cares if they're canonically straight, it's fanfic"

There was a knock on Kate's door late that night while she was on the phone with someone in Kazakhstan, trying to figure out if Frost's predictions were right, or close to being right, or if everything was more likely to go the way she had put forward. When the knock came, she had to remind herself to speak English, not Russian whoever was at her door.

"Is it urgent or can you give me a minute or two?" Kate called thorough her door

"Not urgent," replied CJ's voice, but the way her voice almost cracked in the middle belied her words. 

That worried Kate, more than the fact that CJ hadn't slept in too long, for her, because this level of sleep deprivation shouldn't make CJ sound like that, unless Kate had greatly misjudged the Chief of Staff. Kate also hoped CJ wasn't coming to deliver more bad news, though CJ was busy enough that anything significantly bad would have most likely resulted in Kate being called or paged somewhere before CJ had the time to come down, and CJ had said it wasn't urgent. So the most likely possibilities seemed to be that CJ had something she really wanted to talk to Kate about, or CJ needed more sleep or a better place to vent than she could get in her office, though that option also worried Kate because they usually tried to keep their relationship completely professional while in the building and CJ coming down here to sleep would be commented on, and CJ coming down to talk to her might be,-

"Are you still there?" Asked the agent on the other end of the phone, in Russian.

"Sorry, my brain ran away with me for a minute. Are we almost done?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Kate quickly finished up the conversation and then stepped over to open the door and get CJ inside. She was even more worried when she found CJ leaning against the wall, staring off into space, eyes overfull and glittering with unshed tears.

"CJ?"

When CJ didn't respond, Kate gently touched her arm, making CJ jump.

"Kate, sorry..."

"Come on in CJ and sit down before you fall over," Kate said gently.

Kate kept a hand on CJ's arm as they entered Kate's office and sat down on the couch. As soon as CJ sat down Kate put her arms around the taller woman and pulled her into a tight hug.

CJ tried to say something, but was interrupted by tears starting to fall.

"CJ, it's ok, no talking right now. You can explain as much as you want, or none of it whenever you feel up to it. Really I don't mind if you don't want to or can't tell me what's going on, I've done the same thing myself."

Both of them were still clutching each other, so they were, in actuality, talking to the walls.

After a couple seconds, CJ said "You broke down in tears in someone's arms? I don't believe it."

"It happened, twice, ok, technically once, since the second time only happened because I was drugged."

CJ pulled back a little bit to stare at Kate. 

"Sorry," Kate said quickly, "too much?" 

"No, you're fine, I'm just trying to imagine that situation, and marveling at where you draw your lines." 

CJ added quietly, "Who drugged you?"

"I don't know his name. He wanted information about the US operation in-in where I was at the time, some of which I wasn't going to tell him and some of which I didn't know. Apparently he drugged me twice, at least, but I only remember being drugged when I was-when I got out, but it's not important, it was a long time ago."

"You were captured?"

Kate gave a tiny nod, half avoiding CJ's eyes which was hard when Kate still had her arms wrapped around the other woman.

Kate said, very quietly, "I'm missing everything but the barest bones of about 36 hours, according to other people. It's not something I think about much, sorry for dumping it on you when you came to see me for some other reason, I'm assuming."

CJ said, "it's ok, Kate, I don't mind, I don't really want to talk about it right now, and you're going to find out soon anyway, I'd just like to sit here for a bit, if that's ok? And maybe listen to you talk about things?"

Kate nodded and carefully disentangled herself from CJ so they were sitting side by side on Kate's couch, with Kate's arm around CJ's shoulders.   
"Of course you can just sit here for a while, you know my office is always open if I'm not literally in a meeting or on a call."

"Thanks Kate."

"Want something to drink? Beer?"

"Beer sounds great, thanks."

"So what do you want me to talk about?"

"What did you mean when you said you only remember the bare bones of those 36 hours?"

Kate looked at her feet, "I remember being captured and I remember being drugged once and I remember being tied to a chair, yes that actually happens, and that's basically it."

Kate didn't mention that she knew she'd been tortured because that was something CJ didn't need in her life, though knowing CJ, she had probably guessed at some of that.

CJ said, "if you need to work, I can go..."

"Hey, I said you could stay here and I meant that, and anyways I should be done for tonight and this gives me an excuse. I'm guessing any form of going out is a definite no."

"Absolutely"

Kate picked at the label of her beer bottle and wracked her brain to come up with any funny memories of her time with the CIA, that could actually be told and told as funny stories. She only found two, so she went back to her Navy days, where she found more stories that would work.

When Kate had just finished her last story and both of them had put their beer bottles on the table or floor next to the couch, CJ stared at her feet and said in a flat monotone, "Toby did it, he confessed to me earlier tonight.

A genuine look of surprise, astonishment, and worry flitted across Kate's face before her professional blank mask slipped into place.

"Oh my God, CJ, I'm so sorry, truly."

"The President made a statement on TV a couple minutes before I came down. He's really angry with Toby, for obvious reasons."

"How do you feel about it?"

"Shocked, stunned, furious, sad, but also not at all shocked somehow. I'm going to miss him so much. Even when he was really bothering me I was glad he was there. Toby recruited me into the campaign the first time."

CJ started to cry and Kate put both her arms around CJ and hugged the taller woman close as CJ sobbed quietly into Kate's shoulder.  
When CJ had stopped crying enough to find her voice she disengaged from Kate's hug and asked, "Kate, how are you so matter of fact and down to business about all of this?"

"CJ, this is my job, it's my job to listen to problems and fix them, or at least try to, or point you and the President in the direction of someone who can help, and for years, in my different jobs, the ability to calmly look at problems head on and figure out solutions or how to work through them was often most of what would keep you alive. And, mostly because of my job, but I also think part of it's just me, I tend to work through emotions, personal problems, and what I'm feeling about things in private, except sometimes I do it with you," Kate smiled shyly up at CJ at the last part.

CJ wiped her eyes on her sleeve and smiled at Kate, just a little bit, and said, "I wish I had your confidence, your surety."

"CJ, look at me, hey," Kate's hands found CJ's shoulders and gave a comforting squeeze, "Honestly, a good chunk of it is attitude, the best way to deal with being a woman in a man's world and job, a woman with power and access, and some of it is experience. I was in the Navy for a long time before I ever worked for the CIA, and I did that for a long time as well, though not quite as long. And you don't need more confidence or surety, you have both those things, they just look a bit different on you than on me, and we're never good at seeing our own skills and strengths without putting in a lot of time examining ourselves and thinking about our strengths and weaknesses. I'm sorry, I promise I'm not trying to lecture you."

"It's fine, you're not lecturing. It makes more sense, when you put it that way," CJ replied with a yawn.

"I'll be fine if I don't get much sleep tonight, but you should try. You want to try and sleep on my couch for a bit? I have a bunch of paperwork to do, and hardly anyone's down here, so it'll be quieter than trying to sleep in your office. And I'll let Margaret know that you're down here if anyone needs you."

"Actually, that would be wonderful Kate, thanks."

"I even have blankets," Kate said with a smile.

"Ooh, what a treat," CJ joked.

CJ pulled off her suit jacket and unbuttoned the cuffs of her sleeves as Kate fetched a blanket from a shelf in the closet in the back of her office. Kate handed her the blanket and gave CJ another long hug, not saying anything, just letting physical comfort work its magic.

"Thank you Kate, for all of this, tonight, and in general, thank you for doing all this for me."

"You are very welcome CJ. I love you and I'm here for whatever you need, ok?"

"I know and I love you too. You know you can come to me if you need anything right or if you're having a bad day? I may not be able to be there right away but I will do everything I can to help, even if it's just a place to sit and think or talk, or if it's getting out of the White House for a bit, or whatever."

"Thank you CJ. Now get some sleep and I wish you good dreams."

"Night, Kate."

CJ laid down on Kate's couch and pulled the blanket over herself as Kate turned out the main office light, leaving a pool of light from Kate's desk lamp that only encompassed the desk and the person sitting at it. Kate sat down to get caught up on paperwork, and CJ, to her surprise, quickly fell asleep.


End file.
